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She Comes First summary - available in audiobook and text formats 12m 38s

She Comes First

Ian Kerner

Labeled "every man's must-read" by Cosmopolitan, She Comes First is all about pleasuring women. More specifically, pleasuring through cunnilingus, an act demystified with an enticing mix of humor and education.


The Bottom Line

It’s a common misperception that good sex has to include the act of penetration. But by putting the woman first and making sure she reaches orgasm through cunnilingus, you can create an even better, more mutually satisfying sexual experience.

I. Introduction

Ian Kerner is not just a sex therapist and sexuality counsellor, he’s also a man who has dealt with sex issues himself, namely premature ejaculation. That struggle led him to look beyond penis-in-vagina intercourse in order to satisfy his partners. Specifically, he focused on perfecting cunnilingus, the act of performing oral sex on biologically female genitals. Kerner quickly realized that cunnilingus wasn’t a consolation prize and, in fact, cisgender women are more likely to orgasm from this kind of stimulation.

In 2004 he combined his expertise in the sex-therapy field with his newfound passion for cunnilingus and published She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. The book explains why cunnilingus is often relegated to foreplay — if men think of it at all — and the mechanics that make female genitals particularly receptive to tongue play. The second half of the book focuses on technique, offering a simple routine to start, followed by more intricate moves. She Comes First has been translated into more than 12 languages and was named a best book of 2004 by Borders and Amazon.

II. Give the Clitoris the Attention It Deserves

III. Equal Opportunity Orgasms

IV. Cunnilingus Is the Surest Path to Female Climax

V. Coreplay, Not Just Foreplay

VI. The Power of Your Tongue

VII. Incorporate Your Fingers and Hands

The Takeaway


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